STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
