She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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