I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize