I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize