Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Randomize
