you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
