did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
