We won't sleep together?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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