All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
