worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
