Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am available for nakedness
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
