she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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