I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
