You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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