Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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