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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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• (518): View more from New York

  HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  "Only you can prevent yeast infections."

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• (408): View more from California

  I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.

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• (951): View more from California

  I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.

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