Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
