This is not my ceiling
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
