he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
