Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize