okay pat passed out under dana's car
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
