We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
