Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
