Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
