All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
