come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
