can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
