Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
