as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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