I need help removing her.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
