It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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