Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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