Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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