Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize