is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
