Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
