PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I bet he comes in French.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
