Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
