Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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