If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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