new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
