We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
