best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
