I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
