He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize