where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
