So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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