Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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