Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize