you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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