you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
