conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
