I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
