I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
