Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
