nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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