no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
