Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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