I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize