i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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