I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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