I'd wear matching sweaters with you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
