yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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