he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
