OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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