Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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