piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
