thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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