i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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