You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
