yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
