i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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