PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
