Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
