At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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