idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love you. Go after that dick
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
