And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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