I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
