so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Congratulations! We have a period
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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