She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
