party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize